I would either consider one of you finding a position that didn't require you to be away as much on Friday nights or accept that Friday evenings she will be with family or a sitter. Maybe even alternate. How many assistants do you need at a game. If the head director values your contributions to the program see if they will let you alternate and one person doesn't come to football games and the other does. As the head director, I would not accept that your child was at games on a weekly basis. Emergency sitter called in sick sure, but every week and every contest, nope.
May not be popular but. Do the job you were hired or find a job that better fits your goals of family and work balance. Any more high school band, especially marching band and competition has become a young man's game. Tough to do and still have a family.