You are not alone. This is year 22 for me. I willingly admit that this year has beaten me. I've had rough years before (my first two years were disasters including straight fours in marching and C&SR my second year). This year is different. I feel like my assistant and I are the only ones that care about the band. This includes students and adults. Even the "good kids" are lacking any sort of commitment this year. Since school started back 2 1/2 weeks ago, we've only seen 11 different students in the top band, 12 in the 2nd band, and 6 in the third band. The beginners have had the lowest in person number during that time all year long. Online numbers are pathetic. And, forget about getting any playing "assignments" from the kids. My assistant and I have build this program from the bottom up in the last 15 years and we are now seeing it destroyed by a lack of commitment and dedication. Commitment and dedication that we thought were there but were apparently a smokescreen. I love my band students. I live among them (seven on my short street) and for most of them I've taught their siblings from the very beginning. But, this year has made me question not only my worth in the program and community but my ability to stay in this past this year. This from someone who wanted to be a band director since 4th grade and against the odds, achieved my dream.