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Re: Instructor playing in the stands?
1. If your kids aren't ready to perform and they need him to hold it together, they shouldn't be performing - and you need to see what kind of a job your drum instructor is doing if they can't play without him. That's my USUAL response to this.
2. Reality: It's COVID. Everything's been a sh!tshow for six months now. Let him help. Don't think twice about it.