My “scenery” has changed. I started off at a bad program that was totally unsupported, and then moved to another program that was better - but still not ideal.
Now I’m in a “good” situation. We have a large budget, good community support, and a decent band staff. The program has never been known as stellar though. Our HD is demanding, but I can deal with him. He isn’t the source of my anxiety.
At one point I would’ve agreed with many of you, however, many things have changed. I think that our expectations, hours, and accountability levels are way to high for our pay. I’ve also dealt with more disrespect this year. Additionally, I foresee education (especially in the arts) getting worse because of this pandemic.
Going back to the “always thought this wasn’t for me” comment - I totally loved my time as a performer in ensembles, but my feelings of uncertainty developed during my first teaching gig. It’s gotten worse throughout the years.
With everything being said, I hate to leave the staff in the middle of the semester. At the same time I need to think about my happiness, and my wife’s. When we eventually have our own child, I want to spend time with him/her more than Wednesday’s and Sunday’s because of rehearsals and comps. I feel like I need to leave, and the time is now, but I hate to put my coworkers in an awful position.