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Re: Band camp conflicts
If this mess has shown us anything it's that there are more important things in the world than marching band. Or band. Or even school. It's just marching band for crying out loud. The kid told you in advance. Excuse it and move on. Good grief!
You're comparing apples and oranges. I have no idea why you're pulling in Mexican food and haircuts. There is a HUGE difference between a kid missing band because they're sick (something that happens at the last minute, and you cannot really control) vs a kid missing band camp because the family is taking a vacation (and they've planned far enough ahead to know about it in April).
If this conflict has anything to do with COVID (and maybe it does...maybe they had to reschedule because something was canceled?) then I would be very forgiving. Maybe it's an issue like someone else suggested, where the family doesn't have an option. In my experience, usually these vacation conflicts are because the parents don't think summer band is important enough to schedule around.
Personally, I would have a REALLY hard time putting someone in to a significant leadership position if I know they're missing a big chunk of summer band. Better that I find out now, because if they skipped summer band WITHOUT telling me, they would immediately lose their position.
Depending on the kid, I would consider making them an alternate to start off with. If they're a solid kid, good player, good marcher, they'll earn a spot back pretty quickly. If they aren't, and other people get ahead of them during summer band, that's the natural consequence of skipping that training.
I tell kids all the time that it's not anything personal. They have to do what's best for themselves. I have to what's best for all 200 kids in my band. If you want to play football, great, but if you want to also be a drum major we need to sit down with the football coach and have a very detailed plan for that to happen. If you're good enough to be a starter on the football team AND be drum major, maybe that can happen. Most of the time, no. You can't lead the band while you're on the football practice field. I'll still be happy to see you when you come to the band hall, you'll still be one of my kids, but I need a drum major who's going to be there to do the job.