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Re: Not sure I have or can force myself to have the correct personality for this job
I feel you to the Nth degree. Using discipline strategies your admin has in place really helps. And using a ladder system for severity and repeat offences can make it easier. I think gaining student respect comes from being fair, and forgiving. If a student is walking all over you, work through the discipline, and the emotions can stay out of it. You don't have to be someone you're not, you can totally do this your own way!
They always say “fake it till you make it” and for years I tried that. But I am not, nor can I seem to conjure up the forceful personality that is needed to deal with this career. Every other teacher I look at has this drive or empathy or baseline aura about them that commands respect from their students, and I can’t figure out how to emulate that. I’m either a doormat because my natural personality is very much non-confrontational, or a complete joke to the students when I do put on my “teacher face”. There is no balance to be struck and I’ve tried everything I can think of.
It’s started to make me resent this career and my personality and regret ever choosing this path but I’ve already blown money on this degree so there’s nothing to do about it. It’s getting to the point where even if there was some hidden way to “fix” myself I wouldn’t consider it worth it because then I’m just a completely different person every single day at work.
Not even sure why I posted this, mostly just venting more than anything. Depression sucks.