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Re: Do you play the martyr?
You will need to set personal priorities. Decide your goals and what you want life to be like and move forward. There will always be the super competitive types. I thought that's what I wanted at one time. Then everything that mattered to me was nearly lost and I realized very quickly what really mattered.
Early on work hard. Build a program and build a reputation, (within reason), but don't sell your soul or lose the important things. My spouse made a comment to me earlier this week. She said she knew my priorities had truly changed when I put work second to take care of something else at home. She said she had spent so long trying to schedule her time and family time in my schedule and she was glad to see work was having to schedule itself around the family and home. Don't wait as long as I did to figure out your spouse and kids and parents are far more important than any school building or program ever will be.
I try my hardest not to ďplay the martyrĒ but it sometimes feels like since the area Iím in is mostly young married band directors (with no children or with family helping raise the children they do have) or young single directors itís much more common to hear about directors staying late at the band hall and complaining/being proud of it. Some overheard conversations with some directors consist of: ďSo and so didnít get any region/all staters in this year, they must be lazy and not doing their jobsĒ Iím on year one and if this is what I have to look forward to until I retire...I just donít know...