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Re: Not coming back
If you say something to anyone that night it will turn everything about the concert to you and not about the students. Middle school kids are resilient. They aren't as tied to traditions as high schools. I think leaving a junior high, (unless you have been there 40 years and are teaching children of former students), isn't as traumatic as a high school director change.
If you are worried about them sticking with it the 8th graders were changing schools regardless. Maybe the last week of school have a sit down with your 6th and 7th graders and encourage them to stay and give the new person a chance. Beyond that, you will be replaced, (we all will). Teach to the last day and then move on. Be at peace with the direction you have chosen for next year, (whether that is teaching, retirement, or a new profession).
Nope. No business making that concert about you. It is about how the kids have grown and what they have accomplished. Parents are there to see and hear their kids. Keep it about the kids. After the last performance/event if you can keep it under wraps.
End of year concert.
"I thank you all for all your hard work in putting this concert together. We've really enjoyed our time together as students and as learners. This will be my last performance as director of the "XXX" band. Good luck to you, and continue learning and loving music."