To paraphrase the Immortal Bard:
GET THEE TO A MENTAL HEALTH COUNSELOR!!!!
A quick 'hot wash' of your posting tells me that you are in the early to middle stages of depression. Absolutely NOTHING to be ashamed of. It hammers a lot of us in this profession!!!
Contact your school nurse, or even your own medical doctor and get a referral. When you contact the mental health office, do NOT let them put you off. Insist on being seen ASAP. If necessary, tell them you are approaching a 'crisis point'.
Bottom Line: Get in to see someone!!!
Dude (or Dudette), as I said, many of us in here have been through this. Some (ME) are still struggling with it. There are resources available to help.
Please, PLEASE let us know how you're doing.
How have you handled tough years? I feel like this is by far the worst year (personally and professionally).
I've had to miss quite a bit do to health issues. Also have missed because mentally I couldn't do it. Had a rough year last year and really planned in the summer so this year would run better. But then admin did some things and just ruined everything. My morale just went down the drain. It's affects the kids, not even gonna lie and it kills me that Im not enough but then I don't see the point. I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle (on the days I have any fight in me).
It's effecting my health and my mental health. I've been to the doctor and have tried scheduling appointments with mental care professionals but they are always booked.
How do you survive? This is eating away at me. Thanks for any help.