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Who knows the appointed time
Posted by David Ruddock on 3/1/2007, 11:26 pm
As I think about my years in school I often wonder if I tried hard enough to ease the path of those of us,and there were many, who's silent torment and pain was never noticed. I'm talking about those of us who were slightly different, those of us who struggled with emotional conflicts, which to the naked eye goes unseen. I suffered and still do from being exceptionally Bi-polar (manic-depressive). So much so that I was seen and treated by quite a few "quacks". "So what" one might say. Well the reason I bear my soul to the world is that right now there is someone suffering feeling like theres no one who cares, no one who they can turn to. Well I'm a living example of the power of , for lack of a better word,which there is none, GOD. I drank too much ,from age eleven, got high too long,started drugs in seventh grade, and hid my disease for many years. So well that(on a full scholarship to Temple University, I was only one of two in the 1976 NCAA Gymnastic Championships, placed too.Later I received one from Pepperdine, which I didn't attend due to my use of everything tyhat would take me away from myself. I attemped suicide more then once and almost got what I thought I wanted. Life is too frail and happens only once for anyone to waste it. My thyroid alost killed me as resent as two months ago and I think of all the ways I could have killed myself, life is so sweet. I've loved so many people at MT and I often wonder if their lives were enriched or damaged by some of the actions I took and or didn't take. Now I know that there is more to life then prestege and the look of envy on the other guys face, wishing that he were you. I am restored into the man I was ment to be and I must say that after so much pain it was GOD who delivered me! Yes I've had great times and it looked like life was grand, but being an addict at the age of eleven wasn't what God had in store for me. Seven DUI's,three times in prison homeless for months at a time. Those were the things I looked forward to as I waded down the path of death. I say all of this because if you're still alive and you know who you are. There's help and life is good after drugs, which the class of 75' if you were there, then you know what I'm talking about. I'm married now for thirty years, (god bless that woman for sticking with me through all the years), five children , own my own business and home. Getting ready to build another house on some land I own. Life is great, now and can be for those of us still out there. So for those of you who are too scared to say that you need help or that you did a few things that you're ashamed of, don't worried I just said it all for you. If you need help there are meetings for anything you can think of and if you just was to talk, write me. GOd bless you all and never give up hope!!