My daughter lives here in Florida about 10-12 miles from me but my son lives in WV and runs a farm. He dearly loves the outside and he has so many wonderful wild animals that come down into his yard to visit. He has newborn baby deer and their mamas that come and raccoon, squirrels, and all kind of beautiful birds that he feeds daily. He can’t get away often as a farm needs daily tending and so we are on the phone a lot. Sometimes he will call just to describe a new little fawn that has come to visit with her mama. Or he will discover a new bird that has built a nest nearby.
We were talking the other day about the loss of a friend and we started talking about my situation and that I could go without much warning. He touched me deeply when he said that we have shared our hearts and our love for so many years that I am imprinted upon his heart and mind so that I will never really leave him. He said “Mom, you know this all began from my earliest memories and you would tell me about all the family and the things our family had done or been though, about the ones who went off to war, and the ones who added so much to our lives and….. the ones who didn’t want to.
He said “Mom, you are so much a part of me that you will never leave me except in the physical sense, but you are right here in my heart and brain where you have always been.” I thought about that and I realized it was true with me also, as my Mom passed away three years ago, and yet she is always here in my heart and I talk to her all the time. The same goes for my little feathered angels. Although I miss being able to hold them and kiss their little heads, they still fill my life with their presence. This thing we call love has so many facets and touches in so many different ways. I can go back in my mind to those days when my son was just months old but learning so quickly, and I would explain things to him that were happening in our day. I am so glad that I took the time to share with him and to never fail to let him feel and hear of my love. Someway, in the early days of his growing up, he never felt alone and never thought it strange when he must take a “time out” to also teach him discipline. It makes me feel complete, I guess, knowing that when I am physically gone from his life, I will still be there in all the ways that really matter.
I hope and pray that one day Nancy will be able to remember only those wonderful days of her precious son growing up into manhood and know that he became the wonderful man he was because of all the love she poured into his life. Any of us can be gone in a minute, but the person we were before we left is never wasted or forgotten by those we love and who taught us to be the person we are or were. Love is never cheap but comes from hard work, loving and giving. At least, that is the way I understand it.
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