The presence of multiple queens in a kingdom is bound to create a complicated situation, and yielding a premier position to a new and younger woman can never be easy. But the fact is that a woman who is a member of a royal family by marriage derives her rank exclusively from her husband. The position of queen consort is no different: once her husband dies, she has no choice but to yield to the new queen consort (if there is one). And the queen who was more recently enthroned should outank the queen who was enthroned before her.
It has been stated that Alexandra of the UK simply had a hard time in accepting the fact that she was no longer the queen consort, after the death of her husband. But there was no arguing with facts: her son was the new reigning monarch, and her daughter-in-law was a sovereign by virtue of being his consort. All attempts to sabotage the premier position of Queen Mary (encouraged by the example of her sister, the dowager empress of Russia, where the rules were different) were for naught.
I trust that the latter was more graceful in deferring to her daughter-in-law Elizabeth, once she became the new queen consort. Perhaps it was because of her morganatic background that Mary was able to approach the matter with a greater sense of humility. However, it's interesting to note that the said daughter-in-law did not take too kindly to the situation when HER husband died, leaving her in the position of dowager queen. Of course, she respected her daughter's position as the new queen regnant; it's just that (like Alexandra before her) she had a hard time in letting go of her premier position.
But that's just the way things are: for a royal woman, the tables can suddenly and unexpectedly get turned.
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