Posted by Donna on 5/10/2002, 7:47 am

God, where do I begin with my catfight stories? Okay... I'm a student at the U of O, where (in case you don't know this already) the Greek system is totally dominant... sorority b###hes everywhere, and if there's anything I hate the most in the world, it's sorority girls. Anyway, I guess I could describe myself as kinda punk, short dyed hair, wallet chain attached to my belt, combat boots with fishnets, the whole nine yards. I'm 5'0", about 125 lbs (I'm not a fat chick, I'm well proportioned), 36C-28-36 (last time I checked). My friends and I decided to go out to the bars one night, and we somehow ended up at one of the bars that's predominantly frat. We found a table (there were five of us, two girls and three guys, all pretty punk looking, far from the prep people we were surrounded by), set our stuff down, and the other girl and I went to the bar to go get a few pitchers. We get back to the booth, and there are these dumb-ass blondes with their Greek letters painted across their chests flirting with our friends (they probably thought it'd be "cool" to nail a punk rock guy), who didn't look too appreciative, so when we got back, my friend went to her boyfriend, and I sat between the other two guys. I put my arms around both of them, and kissed them both on the lips, etc... and the sorority girls kinda just look at me with utter contempt. So they start flirting with my boys -hard-core-. I just sat back and laughed for awhile, but then it just started to get irritating watching these poor girls making fools of themselves. I leaned in on John (who, I admit, I also had a big crush on), put my hand on his thigh and whispered "These girls are really pissing me off and if they don't leave soon, they're going to leave here with no hair." He looked at me, winked and smiled, and whispered back in my ear, "If you do that, babe, I will take you home and show you how much I like shows like that!" I grinned. "So can I buy you a drink?" one of the girls asked Jason, who shook his head, "nah, it's okay. " he said. "C'mon," she said, running her fingertip down his ear and his cheek, “lemme’ buy you a drink." "I don't think he's interested," I said, and she just gave me this look like I had just told her the sky was falling. She was about 5'8" or so, thin, small breasts, her friend was the same way, and she was flirting with the other guy on my side, Dan. The one flirting with John left, and brought back some mixed drink and put it in front of him. My other two friends just watched on with amusement, because they both knew I was always willing to fight. John didn't touch the drink she bought him, and when she kept egging him on, I started getting -really- aggravated. "Look, he's not interested, okay???" I said and stood up. She stood up looked me up and down, and with a sneer she said "Do you really think he'd rather be interested in -you- than me?" That was when I went bananas. Had she been even remotely attractive I probably would've fallen in a state of self-consciousness. John just looked up at the both of us, and as I looked down, he had his hand over the front of his pants, hiding this huge erection. "Piss off, you little cum-sucking road-whore," I said, not wanting to throw the first punch, just because, well, I don't believe in that. And she slapped me! Just what I had been waiting for. I lunged at her, over John, grabbed two fistfuls of hair and started slamming her head against the side of the table. Her friend jumped on top of me, but my friend grabbed her and threw her out of the booth. John somehow moved out of the way, although I did feel him grab my ass as he slid out from underneath me), and just watched as the two of us fell out of the seat and onto the floor with me on top of her, holding her head by her hair and slapping her in the face. She reached up and started clawing at my shirt, ripped that open, and that was when one of the bouncers picked me up off of her. They told us to take it outside, and threw us out. My friends followed me out, along with her, and a bunch of her silly as sorority sisters. I don't think this girl had ever been in a fight in her life. So there I was, my shirt gaping open, my nipples totally erect when she jumps my back from behind like a scene from a bad movie. I grabbed her hair behind me, bent forward quickly, and threw her off of me. I got on top of her, and just started beating the crap out of this poor girl, tore her shirt off, and here's the best part: She grabbed me by my bra straps, which were starting to slip off my shoulders, pulled herself up, and spit in my face. I slapped her back down, stood up, and put my boot on her throat. I just looked down at her and smiled, bent over, and somehow her arms had completely slipped out of her bra straps, unhooked her bra, yanked it out from under her, and ran. John had both my shirt and hers, so she was stuck there topless. Sucks to be her. Yeah, John and I went back to his place and had some pretty intense sex. He thinks I should get into fights more often in front of him.