Posted by big al on 23/5/2003, 10:08 pm Mark Wright David O'Leary Alex Ferguson Graham Turner George Graham Jim Harvey Gianluca Vialli Dave Penney Peter Reid Graham Westley Glenn Hoddle Brian Clough Ron Atkinson Mark Patterson Ruud Gullit Gordon Strachan Russell Slade John Gregory Kevin Keegan Joe Royle Jimmy Quinn Bobby Robson Gerard Houllier Garry Hill David Moyes Martin O'Neill Mike Walsh Neil Warnock Claudio Ranieri Graham Taylor SAEED AL SAHAF - Iraqi Head of Information GEORGE W BUSH COLIN POWELL TONY BLAIR HANS BLIX DR SEUSS MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR GRANDPA TRICIA JOHN LENNON ARISTOTLE KARL MARX RONALD REAGAN SIGMUND FREUD BILL GATES ALBERT EINSTEIN BILL CLINTON THE BIBLE COLONEL SANDERS HOMER SIMPSON
195.93.34.14
Arsene Wenger
"From my position in the dug-out I did not see the incident clearly so I cannot really comment. However, I do think that he gets picked on by opposition animals and supporters who are clearly chickenophobic."
"F**king bastard chicken! I'll stuff the f**ker! He's only doing it because I'm Mark Wright. When I used to play for England they never let chickens just go wandering off. I'll put a bid in for him next week."
"To be fair, he's just a baby chicken really and crossing the road is just a big exciting adventure for him. He'll enjoy the experience as long as it lasts and learn from it, but I don't seriously expect him to cross it this
season."
"As far as I'm concerned he crossed the road at least a minute early according to my watch."
"Is he coming here? Oh we don't owe him money do we? I'll tell I've been surviving on chicken feed for longer that I care to mention."
"I want good, solid team of chickens who'll cross the road in a straight line when they're told and how they're told. There's no room at this club for a prima donna chicken running around aimlessly - he's not worth it!"
Lights cigar. "Well ye know he's a good wee chicken that one. Aye bags of road crossing potential there."
"When the fish are down, he'll just be one of the chaps. It doesn't matter to me whether he's an Italian, French or English chicken as long as he's willing to die on the road."
"Because he's my lucky chicken. Every Thursday just before training if the chicken makes it across we'll win against a team in blue during the next three weeks."
"Just cross the f***ing road, you chicken f***!"
"To get from Farnborough to Stevenage"
"The chicken was hit by the lorry when crossing the road because in a previous life it had been a bad chicken."
"If God had wanted chickens to cross roads he'd have put corn in the tarmac. Anyway, I'm more interested in Wild Turkey."
"Spotter's badge, Clive. For me, Chicko's popped up at the back stick, little eyebrows, and gone bang! And I'll tell you what - I've got a sneaking feeling that this road's there to be crossed."
"One chicken that's all we had watching against Margate. I just wish a few more would cross the road to get to Hilton Park."
"I am hoping to see some sexy poultry."
"I'm really proud of the wee fella. Let's face it, if it had been one of the big chickens everyone would be saying how well he'd done, but as it's one of the wee chickens it must be luck."
"These chickens are doing my head in I'm off. No the chickens got the right idea I'm staying. If that's all my chicken budget gets then I'm off. How could I leave such a lot of brave chickens I'm staying"
"Two months ago that chicken was saying he was happy here. Now he tells me he wants to cross the road. I feel like shooting him."
"OK, so the chicken's dead, but I still feel, hey, he can go all the way to the other side of the road."
Or
"I would love it if the chicken crossed the road, just LOVE it ! "
"I can't understand why they're letting female chickens cross roads these days. They should be at home laying eggs."
"Well it has to on our budgets. The chicken will make the middle of the road and then stagger around for a while and at the end of the day it'll still be in the middle of the road."
"Goose, what turkey, is there a duck somewhere, where am I?"
"The chicken is 10 yards from greatness"
or
"I stopped the chicken from crossing, because he displayed a very bad attitude and squawked rudely at me once. He will no longer cross the road with us"
"Nah den. Its hit me hard him running of like that it has. It was hard for me to watch, I don't stay calm I just keep going. But after a long season I'm left doin me nut again. Gercha."
"The chicken did well crossing the road - but I'm not letting you interview him as he is to young at the moment."
"Hey, don't get me wrong. No one is more delighted than me that the road has been crossed. But we've now got to mount the pavement and it won't be easy. But hey I'm doing cartwheels, honest!"
"A chicken's done what? Oh its probably just a non-league thing that chickens do. Isn't that right Tony?"
"He didnt want to cross the ******* road did he, he just wanted to spit at me"
"Errrrrrrrrrm Chicken Errrrrrrrrrrrrm Road Errrrrrrrrrrm Crossed "
"Do I not like the way he crossed the road today"
An alternative selection
The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We do
not even have a chicken.
We don't care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if
the
chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either for us or
against us. There is no middle ground.
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of
the chicken crossing the road.
I agree with George.
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed I've not been told.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without
having their motives called into question.
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us
the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it
experienced a serious case of moulting, and went on to accomplish its dream
of crossing the road.
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace.
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
It was an historic inevitability.
What chicken?
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
eChicken2003 will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your
important documents, and balance your checkbook - and internet explorer is
an integral part of eChicken.
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the
chicken?
What is your definition of chicken?
And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the chicken THOU SHALT
CROSS
THE ROAD. And the chicken didst cross the road, and there was rejoicing.
Did I miss one?
Mmmmmmmmm . . . . c h i c k e n
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