Posted by Tim on 5/9/2008, 11:41 am
81.152.235.108
I'm not what I would call a spiritual seeker - I have stumbled into the world of all things spiritual by a process of self-deconstruction, namely in the form of realising that most of the things I have been led to believe are a fallacy and I have never felt truly "connected" to anyone or anything.
The thing is, I can see the truth in the fact that I'm deluded, but I - as yet - have nothing to replace this sense of illusion with. I don't meditate, I know no-one spiritually inclined with whom I can talk, and I have also come to understand the essential truth behind most of the fundamental spiritual teachings (and have had some terrifying reactions to pople like U.G. Krishnamurti and Tony Parsons...) - which is slowly driving me crazy!
I guess I'm hoping that someone out there will know to some degree what I'm experiencing and will be able to help me to understand why I feel so trapped between the illusory world of "I" and whatever lies beyond it. In short, I'm terrified, both for my sanity and for my diminishing "self". I really don't want to end up having an experience like Suzanne Segal's 10 year long nightmare..... It would be wonderful to know that there are others I can talk openly with without fear of frightening them, either!
Thanks for your time,
Tim
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