You no longer see those annoying pop-up ads because our sponsor, Doore, pays to keep this board free of Boardhost pop-ups. To show your appreciation, please click on the banner below and at least consider if you need what he has to offer.
Late Bloomer Smokers
Posted by CS on 10/30/2009, 15:00:43
71.235.229.246
Thank you for your open and frank response to my questions, statement and conclusions.
I am beginning to understand the complexity of the Nicotine scurge as it pertains to the human mind and body. But I don't comprehend how it would effect your soul....your true inner being.
Last night, with the advice of people here, I sent two text messages to my friend. One stating: I will never bring up the contested subject again as long as I don't have to see you or be near you when you do it.
The second message was: I'll always be here for you.
Of course I have not heard from her. And as a byproduct of that, I began to wonder about how the mid of a smoker works.
In earlier posts I reflected upon what the response would be from female smokers who want their husband to "accept" their new addiction. I pose the question if the husband became addicted to legal prostitutes (Nevada) and brought one home, stood there in front of the wife while the Legal Prostitue performed her skills on him 20 or 30 times a day. What would the wife's response be. Its HIS LEGAL Addiction! I guess she'll just have to ACCEPT IT.
Is it me or does logic not apply to smoking?
I won't say I understand the sexual context of smoking, perhaps your first encounters were of a sexual nature. The true reality is Men do think of women who smoke as Loose, easy to bed and as others have pointed out her, more sexualy adventures or this one...trainable.
I train men to become stronger...and some men here are training their women to smoke to become their sexual conqubine. Regardless of how you look at it, one person is breaking down another to do things they might not have done without deviant external pressure. I don't understand it.
The reality is my friend won't reach for emotional, financial or psychological help. I have called in many a friend to help her change the mortgage etc. She refuses to seek psychological help......but her cigarettes they comfort her. WOW! Seeking comfort in a drug!!!!
Sure, I could plead my case to my physicians and scream "give me more drugs" and if I lied, perhaps they would. But the excuse of Cigarettes are LEGAL, therefore I can indulge as much, or in some cases as little, as I want. How is that acceptable? We're still discussing what is in essence a highly modified, purified DRUG .....which just happens to have 4000 other chemicals.
Again, where is the logic? Perhaps my friend is correct. Perhaps I do judge poeple harshly. Perhaps I do look down on DRUG use as a lack of discipline and self control. By whats wrong with that? What is the difference between someone sucking on a butt, and someone sticking a needle in their arm? Both are drug delivery systems. Both are legal to manufacture, both can be had through purchase (obviously more difficult for needles, but every major city has needle programs these days).
Another friend came to see me today. He's a smoker and probably the nicest person you'd ever meet. His father passed away from Suicide on the lay away plan (smoking; Thanks to another poster for that) and died at the age of 45 leaving my friend alone as the oldest boy in a family of 2 at age 13. He smokes and he can't quit. He's now 43 and his wife begs, pleads, threatens, cries, screams, implores him to stop....and he can't. He asked me what it feels like to have cancer. I told him I couldn't answer because I was not a Self Inducer. But I answered the question the best way I could: PAIN that never ends! Again, my cancer is rare and being only the second case ever seen (amongst the big cancer hospitals) they don't know what to do. I do take pride in what my physicians tell me. Anyone else would have crumbled by now. But he would be wrong. I did crumble at one point....that was the point when I found out my friend was smoking. I lashed out at her with all I had. I was ANGRY, SAD, Fearful.....disgusted! My anger was directed at the man who got her smoking. My disgust was at her being addicted. My disgust aimed at the product and how it changed her body, body odor, breath and that was just the external manifestations. My Sadness was for my loss of what I thought was a friend turned addict. My male friend will die young leaving his family in ruins like his father before, his cough is bad and he's afraid to have it checked. His wife is in denial partly because of what she sees in me. They bought the home next to her parents. I honestly think they did this as a safety net for the children. And YET he still smokes as does my female friend. Oh sure she can maintain a job.....third shift, sleeping all day so as not to have to face people like me who love her.
My brain works like a grid. What doesn't fit the matrix is looked at and examined. This site has allowed me to express deep feelings and inner turmoil in a controlled manner while at the same time learning about something I detest.
Be truthful to yourself, but that doesn't mean your truth is correct. I sought help from my physicians who have given me great insight as to my situation with my cancer and my friend. She on the other hand refuses counseling as does my male smoking friend. Why? Are they afraid someone will look at their addiction and suggest they try to stop? Or does the addiction prevent them from facing their fears or life? I don't know, but I also don't claim to know it all.
My body temperature is uncontrollable, my head is bald, my body is in constant pain, I have to force myself to eat and try to keep it down. I can't swallow sometimes. Liquids choke me and I have to remember to relax and let it pass. And a whole lot of other nasty thing have happened to me and some here think that playing chicken with cancer makes them feel alive. I don't get it.
You're not preaching. You're sharing! Perhaps my presence here is frightening to some, disgusting to other, but I'm not here to judge but to learn. Thank You for that. Maybe with your predeliction more in the open your communications with your wife will improve. But you control that, Nicotine does NOT.
I asked a priest friend of mine about all the issues we've discussed here. His answer was enlightening. Man(general statement of humanity) left alone by himself is not strong. Of course he went on to explain things in a more religious tone which I won't repeat here. But is there a huge difference between me and my friend? Or does it just come down to the bottom line that she is an addict and nothing more.
Only the Strongest Will Survive
MoAon Aabe!
Message Thread:
« Back to thread
This board's 100,000th hit came on 6/19/2001.