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Late Bloomer Smokers
Posted by Cancer Survivor on 10/28/2009, 12:11:34, in reply to "Honestly trying to understand...."
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See....in my life of work I deal with stress 10Xs what the stress of the average person is, I'm not trying start a pissing match, I obviously do something different than most. I have to make life and death judgement calls when needed. I don't understand the concept of "Knowing" something is bad for your health like cigarettes, and "trying" to see if you like it or not. Example: I know if I put my .45 to my head I would kill myself...I've seen it done. That doesn't mean I want to try it myself!
As for my friend.....this may anger some of you, I see turning to a drug as powerful as Nicotine as being WEAK MINDED. I know its legal.....but so was Cocaine, Opium, Heroin etc., etc. I don't believe that "just because its legal" is a good excuse to become even more weak by NOT facing one's problems head on. My cancer is bad, but I'm taking it head on. My job is stressful and I take it head on. Life is stressful and I take it head on.....but I read Amy's post of walking in the door and "telling" her husband she is Now a Smoker. If my wife of almost 20 years walked in and told me that, I'd tell her she's going to be alone smoking and kick her to the door. I don't understand how someone can enjoy depriving the brain of O2. I've had EVERY MAJOR drug for pain on the market. OxyContin was great stuff! I could honestly see someone getting addicted to that! But my LOGICAL brain said "hey bud, this is some powerful stuff" and I put it into the correct category. I read where some folks here are trying to get their spouses to smoke as well, as a way of acceptance of their habit. If you truly love someone, truly love someone, you don't do what make YOU feel good or happy, you do what is BEST for the both of you.
Yes I understand youthful exuberance.....heck the first time I dropped a bad guy I too felt the "thrill" rush through my body, but I knew from training (Read Dad and other trainers) to neither take pleasure nor pain from that accomplishment, just remain neutral and professional. So, when I read Amy and Gina talking about how their indoctrinating their girl friends into the smoking clan (forgive me Amy and Gina if I got this wrong) I see something wrong. I see something evil. To me it would be like going over to the baddy I just dropped and cheering myself on and having my friends cheer me on while I smeared his blood on my face like war paint.
I'm a very educated man, a man of the world.....and I see of lot of nasty stuff and nasty people. Please don't misunderstand what I'm about to say, I want to be perfectly clear here. I don't think "Smokers are BAD", I think Smoking is BAD! It costs lives in more ways than one....on a past outing, I was able to smell the bad guys and was able to draw first blood because I could smell the odor of their tobacco breath. At debrief later that week, I asked my men who were smokers, explained what happened and asked their opinions. Believe it or not, the smokers didn't "understand" how I was able to smell the Tango. It was at that point I had orders cut transferring those men out of my unit. I wasn't about to loose non-smoking men because smokers gave our position away.
Yes, I am in extreme circumstances and situations. I don't know if I can mend bridges with my friend. The smoke has already damaged her body. When she speaks, her tobacco breath is revolting and disgusting. She can't go for an hour without her fix of nicotine and its pathetic. I'm still on heavy narcotics and don't "do them" for fun. Yet somehow I read here how some take pride in stating how many cancer sticks they've consumed today. Regardless of age, don't adults know better???
Thank You for your help and insight. I don't know how to mend bridges nor do I know how to begin. We are diametrically opposed on the topic and I don't know if she'll ever come around and I don't know if I'll be around long enough to see her come back to reality.
Thank You.
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