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Late Bloomer Smokers
Posted by ryan
on 9/3/2009, 10:21:25
76.122.90.20
Hi all...I thought I'd share my story......
I am a 29 year old male in the Atlanta area. Great job and am married to a wonderful non-smoker. I had smoked occassionally since I was 15 but never considered myself 'addicted'. I didn't have to smoke. In fact there was a part of me that felt that those who smoked many times every day (actual 'smokers') were a little gross!
This all changed recently. I am on the overnight shift and I found that smoking during work (and before and after) helped me get through the night. But I wasn't addicted. I then started supplementing these with one every so often when I wasn't at work. But I wasn't addicted. My wife is an avid non-smoker and she said to never smoke around me. But I wasn't addicted. Although outside of work I now found myself wanting to smoke a little more so I would often go outside and smoke after she went to sleep. But this wasn't every night....I wasn't addicted. Then, when she would run out for errands I would smoke. But I wasn't addicted...I just wanted to smoke I told myself. Although I was started to feel the urge to smoke when she was around! I found myself smoking very regularly every time she wasn't around. But I wasn't addicted was I? I then looked at my bank statement to see when I was purchasing my packs. Lately I saw it was every 3-4 days. Was I really smoking 5-7 cigarettes EVERY day?? I wasn't a smoker...I just smoked every now and then. I wasn't addicted! I decided I probably should stop. I went 11 hours and felt awful!! I lit up and felt an overwhelming sense of calmness and return to feeling normal when I smoked that cigarette.
I had to tell my wife that I now needed to smoke. It wasn't pretty but she now understands that I need to smoke 3 a day (that is what I told her). I actually smoke about 7/day (I buy a pack every 3 days) but at least i now can go have a cigarette in front of her up to three times a day and she thinks it is from my normal ration. I keep an extra pack hidden where I supplement these with my extra ones whenever she isn't around. I need to smoke every 3-4 hours or I get very irritable and cranky.
I now need to smoke. I like to smoke. Smoking feels good. I am addicted to smoking. My Marlboro Red 100s are now part of who I am. My name is Ryan and I am a smoker.
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