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Late Bloomer Smokers
Posted by Carla on 6/7/2009, 10:55:18
68.43.195.60
I have always been very anti-smoking due to the smell and health issues. But for some reason I have always been intrigue by it also. As of late everytime I see a smoker it makes me want to try it. I finally stop one day a few months back after work on a Friday and bought a pack of Marlboro's. I was really excited and nervous at the same time. As soon as I got in the car I could not wait any longer. I took a cigarette out of the package and used my car lighter to light it being I did not have a lighter and started smoking. I finished that one and had another one before I got home. I was really excited about the fact that I was smoking but knew it was not healthy for me. When I got home that is all I could think about was having another cigarette. I ended up having about 4 more the rest of the night. The next morning I woke up and the first thing I thought of was having a cigarette which I did. I went about my business the rest of the day trying not to think about it but about every hour or so I decided to take a break and have one. To make a long story short I have not been able to stop and have been closet smoking about a half a pack a day for two months now. I am afraid and embarrased to tell family and friends that I have become a smoker. And after each day I seem to be increasing this bad habit that I thought would never happen. I am afraid I will be up to a pack a day pretty soon and will not be able to quit. I even wake up in the middle of the night sometimes and have one. I can't stop thinking about smoking.
Carla
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