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Late Bloomer Smokers
Posted by Sara on 6/5/2009, 2:30:58
209.240.250.191
Hi, posted before after being tricked, or convinced, by friends to try smoking. Started with marb lights, and somehow ended up smoking nearly 1 ppd of newports. I really enjoy it now, and for a long while really was conflicted about it and although I knew I was becoming addicted, still thought I would quit due to health issues. I'm in my 40's, and never in a million years thought I'd actually enjoy it. I don't even think about it now, just buy another pack when I get down to about 3 cigs. I can't see myself being able to quit even though I really want to. It's really like impossible. How do people do it??? it really snuck up on me, and my friends gain no end to enjoying my newfound habit (addiction). I was so anti and always lecturing them. Now it seems I'm lighting up more than they are. Wow, everything about it, putting one in my lips, lighting it, blowing out the smoke, it just feels so satisfying. I don't get cravings, but urges, and always seem to give in to them. It's like I can't even get to a craving, although each morning I have two and they are great. I'm totally blown away that I could actually like it. Never expected that. I'm admitting now I smoke, but still do not smoke around anyone except my friends. it gets very hard at times.
It's like the thought of quitting almost scares me because I don't feel like I can now. This site is interesting because so many seem to want to smoke. This blows my mind. I was just curious, never wanted to, still don't, but am shocked I like it, and cannot even seem to bring myself to try quitting anymore. AHHHHH!
Now I understand what it must have been like for me to bug them to quit. You just can't. I never understood addiction, but now am in it, and thoroughly understand it. Question: once addicted, can you get "more addicted". The longer you smoke once addicted does it become harder to quit? Is it harder to quit something like Newports than Marb lights, or is it an individual thing, depending on the person. Thanks, Sara
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