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Posted by Tobin Broadwater A) to burst into a church one bright god given Sunday morning wearing naught but a slinky orange backless dress, a mighty and horned Viking war helmet, Vietnam gook stomper boots whilst holding a 14 inch black dildo (replete with large swinging testicles) in your left hand which you use as a conductors baton whilst attempting to lead the entire congregation in a rousing chorus of “Blow blow blow your goat” B) To undertake the ancient “coming of age/out of the closet” ritual of South America in which for the first 5 days you are ceremoniously locked in a steel stockade and buried in 9 horse drawn Yugos filled with what you can only assume is overly lumpy gone over buttermilk, whilst your only companion, a small mountain boy from the Yucatan peninsula, wipes your sweaty brown with a Chore Boy steel pad dipped in Chee pote lay/lemon sauce, after which your drenched/and sore body is then spat on and dry humped by a legion of over sexed post operative transsexual camels after which you are given a filtered cigarette a tic tac and a shirt that states “I underwent the ancient south american manhood ritual and all I got was this lousy T-shirt”…you are now a man! Love,
on 4/18/2005, 9:28 pm
#### you punk! From the times I scrapped with you in indonesia (93) and Machu Picu (94) I knew you were a b###h deserved ( thats right I said deser-ved) of naught else but the following curse; to whit; May you wake one morning with the desire/hankering to attempt one of the following…
Tobin Broadwater
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