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Fear is such a brutal emotion. I have read everyone's notes and am so very grateful. I do realize how much I have to look forward to. My fear is losing the amazing life that is in front of me. What I have started to do is pray out loud when I am driving. I am not religious but I am spiritual. I am building myself back up from my core outwards.
Some of you mentioned 'embracing my "new normal"'. Reading those words was like lighting a candle in my dimly lit head. Instead of mourning the "old me", I will take steps to consciously embrace the new me.
Now that work is easing up, I plan to really seek out a cancer support group or counseling. I think what scares me about a support group is getting close to someone who gets sick again and loses their battle. I have had so much brutal loss in my life in the last 7 years - most brutal was my dad in 2010. My heart is still tender when in comes to losing people.
Thank you all again. There are no words to describe how much comfort you have all given me. I am taking things day by day for now, breathing, praying, and going out of my way to laugh whenever possible.
Big, big hugs and love to each of you, Carolyn