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Sorry you are going thru all of this.
Fear of pain and the unknown is a common thing and something all of us went thru.
I had a bi-lat. mast. 13yrs. ago and yes, there was pain. I was off pain meds within a few days and came home three days after surgery. I went thru chemo but did not have radiation. There are many different types of reconst., from implants to DIEP. The time you have to wait may be in your favor as it will give you more time to research what type would be best for you and weigh the pros and cons.
Emotionally, I can't really answer that as it affects all of us differently. For me it was bittersweet, sad to see the breasts gone but happy to know my cancer went with them.
Hope this helps. God bless.