You should post on the main board. It gets most of the traffic. Click back at the top on surgery/recon, then on breast cancer support. Go to the 'meeting place' on the right hand side. Just copy and paste your post here.
I can tell you what I needed most was just a hug and closeness. I really felt so unfeminine. Flowers, dinner out, anything to take her mind off of things.
Oh, by the way, thank you both from the bottom of my heart for serving our country. We appreciate you and the sacrifices you make.
Hang in there. I would contact the cancer society in your area to see how or if they could help in any way.
Prayers headed your way.