Being a husband I have been left out of almost everything. My wife is very a-type and feels that she can do everything herself and if she needs help she can ask her boss or her friends as to not have to burden me because she knows of my workload. I have done everything I can and even left a very important school in order to be with her for her surgeries and have taken care of her with all of my medical training.
Our big issue now is that she was not happy with her doctor during the entire process, he would simply tell her that it was his decision to do what he wants because "it was easier for him" (he is almost 80 years old), instead of doing what my wife requested. I understand that yes he is the surgeon and he has many MANY more years experience than most plastic surgeons in the area, but he kept telling my wife that she couldn't have her expanders filled any larger, that her body wouldn't be able to handle it. Also, where the expanders were placed on her chest once she had her fills (started at 200cc initial during surgery, 3 subsequent fills of 50cc thereafter for a total 350cc), and since she has no underlying tissue and she is tall and thin she looks like she doesn't even have breasts. It looks more like she has male pecs that are wide instead. Also, the doctor went with saline instead of gel. We know that the breasts are supposed to settle because my wife had implants before, but now she has a bunch of loose skin underneath her breasts that was even there when she had the expanders.
My wife is completely distraught after having her expanders removed. She told me that she would rather deal with the constant daily pain of having the expanders as opposed to what her breasts look like now. Currently we are fighting with the military health care system to go to an outside provider. She asked for a referral to an outside provider before she underwent the exchange and they referred her to her own doctors colleague who obviously wouldn't go against anything his senior said in her file. We're stuck.
As a husband and her main caregiver at home (even though she doesn't need physical care, just emotional support now) I'm at my limit. I'm not saying that I'm giving up, but I need someone to help me out with this on the husband side. There are no support groups for husbands of that are around or near me.