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Hi Melody. Had R total mast in May 1999. For myriad reasons, some similar to yours, I did no recon at that time. My life circumstances changed and I traveled to New Orleans for my second mast and bilateral DIEP. It's a difficult surgery, but the only recon I would ever consider. You're doing the right thing. Ask questions. Educate yourself. Be compliant with aftercare instructions.
My best advice: the surgeon's staff is as important as the surgeon. Be certain both are a good fit. Every surgery is unique, so be judicious re: anecdotal info.
Wishing only the best, Cheryl