[ Post a Response | Surgery / Reconstruction Board ]
Posted by sheila in FL on 8/31/2008, 10:45 am, in reply to "implant and expander-relationship over"
68.210.42.14
Deb-
I am so very sorry he has treated you like this. I had a similar experience 7 years ago when I was your age. My 2nd husband and I had been together only 3 years when I had a mastectomy. Although I did not have chemo and the hair loss issue, I had only one breast. I did not have reconstruction done then, but I'm having it now.
My husband left the marriage about 6 years ago because of his issues, not mine. He was an alcoholic, had had multiple jobs, multiple marriages. I was a total fool for getting married to him in the first place. I know that now.
He died about a year after leaving me, and 6 months after the divorce was final. Being his ex-wife, I got nothing.
Please listen to what I'm going to tell you now: having no relationship with a man is so much better than having a bad one. You will survive this loser relationship, and you will love again. Being married and having to go through a second divorce is just the worst feeling...and I can tell you that from my own experience. I was embarrassed and humiliated over his failures, not mine. Like you, I tried very hard to save the relationship. But, it takes two.
Stop beating yourself up for what you did or didn't do. One person cannot convince another person to stay or keep trying.
You need to take care of yourself and do what you can to spend time with caring friends and family.
And you need to run to the nearest counselor and get the support you need and deserve. Please email me if there is anything I can do to help you through this. I'm praying.
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