I wanted to share with you my experiences of the dinner with Silke and Bernd I mentioned in one of my last posts. Due to some timing problems on my side we had to postpone it a bit, that's why i only mention it now...
Well, a few days ago, my girlfriend was out and did not want to join the dinner, I phoned with Silke who was very happy that I wanna have dinner with them. She told me that on Saturday (last week) they wanna visit some good friends who live 1 hrs away anyway and that they would be happy if I would join them. I was wondering because I wasn't expecting that their friends wanna see me at dinner....Silke told me that they are really good friends and she talked with them already about me and that they would want me to join anyway.
So, Silke, Bernd and little Antje picked me up at 6 o'clock in the evening for the 1hrs ride. They have an old Voyager so I took a seat in the back next to the child seat of Antje. When I opened the door, I could immidiately smell the smoke which was in the car caused by the burning cigarettes of Silke and Bernd. Antje was strapped in her seat and had her puppy with her. She coughed a bit but smiled at me. Silke turned around to great me, exhaling a huge cloud of smoke in my face by accident. Bernd was happy to see me as well, so we drove off. For sure, the windows were up in the car and I was just happy to be able to sit again in their second hand smoke, breathing it all in. Bernd smoke about 4 cigarettes during this drive, Silke even 6. Little Antje did not seem to be too happy with this but I had the feeling that she did not dare to say anything, just coughing from time to time a bit. Hearing this, Silke was just saying that Antje will get a cold again and that's it.
From time to time Silke turned around, talking and exhaling to me and Antje. The Voyager was a typical smokers car: Overflowing ashtrays even in the back and here and there some full and empty cigarettes packs. I asked her why even the back ashtrays are used and Silke told me that during long trips she would sit in the back because after more than 1 hrs driving she has to calm down Antje a bit because she would start blaming. BEsides she has to give her some food from time to time - for sure, with an alomost always lit cigarette.
We arrived at a very nice house and a couple in their mid 30ies opened the door. They were both looking very friendly and good. Susanne and Mark. It turned out that Susanne was 32 and I guess 6 months pregnant, Mark was 35. They already had one child, Christian, who was 2 years old. By entering the nice house I could also smell smoke, but not that intense compared to Silke and Bernds.
We sat together, after that 1hrs trip in the car, Antje was walking around in the house a bit, meeting Christian who was playing in the living room. We adults sat down on the couch and Silke, Bernd, Mark and Susanne immediately lit up their cigarettes. Susanne smoked Marlboro lights 100s, Mark Marlboro red. The kids were playing in front of us.
We had some nice discussions and Mark and Susanne told me that they are really impressed that I tolerate the smoking of all of them in such a good way. She told me that even she got pregnant she decided to go on smoking. She told me that Mark was smoking since he was 15, he was a 1-2ppd smoker. Susanne just started after the birth of Christian. With all the after birth stress she mentioned, she once asked Mark if she could try a cigarette because she always had the feeling that if Mark had some stress and was smoking, the smoke helped him to relax. Mark for sure agreed and at the end she was not smoking his reds but the lights. She told me that she smokes 100s because they are sexy and bvecause of the kid. If she has to change his diapers e.g. she will lay the cigarette next to him in the ashtray. So,the 100s even last longer. She says that she increased very much to 1,5ppd and does that still in her current pregnancy.
We discussed much more and they were very happy that I am so interested also in their smoking. I have the feeling that for all of them, smoking is a really basic part of life and that they like to talk about it.
Anyway Mark and Susanne also told me that they have the same opinion as Silke and Bernd, concerning smoking around children and friends...
From time to time the kids came to us, sitting on the laps of their smoking mothers. For sure, they would exhale on them. Susanne does it from time to time mainly accidently, Silke seems to do it quite often and seems to like it in a way. Christian the little boy is not very happy with all the smoke but Susanne and Mark do not care too much about that. They tell me that they open the windows at least 3 times a day to give him a chance to get fresh air and that they would smoke in his room but they place no ashtray in it. Besides, they open the window before he sleeps in it. During this discussion, Silke and Bernd mentioned quite often that they see the danger, that this is not too good for Christians education and that the may have some trouble with him in future if he does not accept their smoking around him. Susanne agreed, Mark had another opinion. Susanne told us, that she is sure that she will have to smoke much more after giving birth and then, also Christian will have to cope with much more smoke around him anyway. She requests to Mark that they should act more like Silke and Bernd......
At the end we had a great dinner with some steaks and, for sure, lots of cigarettes and a smoke filled house with little children playing around in smoke.
They are really also lovely people and after leaving we said that we have to meet much more often and to keep in touch anyway.
As soon as we entered the van, Antje was strapped in her seat, Silke and Bernd lit another cigarette, dragging hard and both seem, to be happy.
They drove me home and we all said that we are all happy that we are friends now and we said that next time, we will all meet at Silke and Bernds place. They have a big garden outdside the village where we could have a barbecue if the weather was fine.
I agreed, and i am looking forward to this. Maybe I can also ask my non smoking girlfriend to join.
I will tell you if there are some news!
Smoky regards to all!
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