Posted by Mark on August 16, 2009, 20:12:10
75.162.8.216
I narrowly averted disaster at this year's Iowa State Fair trip. The forecast on Friday night made it sound like storms would be slowly rolling into Iowa from Nebraska during the day and would hit the Des Moines area at some point Saturday evening. While I didn't want to see a stormy night, I nonetheless accepted it as a better scenario than waiting for Sunday when there was an even greater chance of all-day storms. I woke up Saturday morning at around 8:30 and checked the radar to see what was shaking and felt the pit of my stomach ache as I looked at a giant cell of storms already in western Iowa...about six hours ahead of schedule. Now what, I asked myself....
I know I had said last year that I was gonna go to the Fair later in the morning in the future so that my aching feet could hold out longer into the evening. Unfortunately, that plan went out the window as I decided I better head to the fair as early as possible since I was likely to be rained out as early as mid-afternoon. I was already at the fairgrounds before 10 a.m. expecting a short day but managing a very long one, holding out until almost 11 p.m. with only a couple spurts of frustrating but brief rain. All told, I got extremely lucky as the hardest of the storms moved north. Was it worth it? Sort of. I know I said last year's Iowa State Fair was a fairly mediocre day, but having reread my narrative from last year it sounded downright exciting compared to this year. I didn't get any epic sightings (you can't count on those every year) but managed only three genuine blockbusters and one infuriating would-be epic sighting. Numberswise, I did manage a best-yet 107 sightings, topping last year's 101 sightings, but I was there an extra half hour or so this year and the quantity didn't necessarily mean quality. There were alot of third-tier caliber sightings that only nominally met my threshold of "satisfying". Most disappointing was the dearth of underage smokers. Now I know from general observations at my local skate park and last month's Summerfest that there are still plenty of underage smokers in Iowa, but for whatever reason, they weren't to be found at the Iowa State Fair this year. Anyway, time to let the sightings speak for themselves...
I arrived at the grounds around 9:40 with the sun still shining and generally feeling the usual invigoration I feel upon walking into fairgrounds knowing I'll be seeing girls smoking for hours and hours to come. The storm clouds on the horizon sunk my spirits a little, but I was determined to make the best of a shaky situation. Mornings tend to be lacking in sightings and tend to be really frustrating when you see middle-aged parents sitting on benches smoking next to adorable teenage daughters who don't yet smoke. For whatever reason, I see a much more disproportionate number of older people versus younger people smoking at the Iowa State Fair than any other venue. The state of smoking in Iowa is still robust if you count people over 40. I cobbled together a few modest sightings in the first hour before scoring my first memorable one of the day with Sighting #5, a mother-daughter sighting with an attractive 22-ish brunette daughter and her mom puffing away next to a dumpster near the bathrooms at the edge of the grandstand (one of my most productive venues of the day). Both women drug hard and deep from their cigarettes with some serious hold times in their lungs and impressive exhales while casually talking. The adorable matriarchal bonding moment ended when both women tossed their cigarette butts into the nearby dumpster. I'm always disappointed when I see women and girls throw away their butts rather than simply flinging them.
Sighting #6 was a young mother smoking on the curb next to her son and two teenage girls I assumed were sisters. Mom had long and curly light brunette hair and her outfit of tanktop and capris made her look much younger than she apparently was. From the back, you could have sworn she was 16, but when you saw her face you could tell she was mid-20s. She was one of a handful of impressive young mother sightings I got this year. Sighting #10 would be in the same realm with a long-haired dirty blonde in the company of two other couples pushing strollers. She was the best-looking girl of the three and the only smoker as they rested near the bathrooms.
Sighting #14 was a family that had just entered the gates. Mom was smoking, dad wasn't, and the two college-age daughters were split. The younger-looking of the two was an adorable brunette who unfortunately was not smoking, but her dirty blonde ponytailed 21-ish big sister was afflicted with the addiction, dragging intermittently from a freshly lit cork filter. I followed close behind and was very impressed with this girl's figure, concealed in a skimpy tanktop and khaki shorts. She was chatting with the younger sister between drags and looking amazingly hot. As the family was about to enter one of the buildings on the grounds, girlie dropped her cigarette to the pavement and stomped it out before proceeding inside. I looked down to see the butt was a full-flavor Marlboro Menthol. Not bad girl!
My next hot mommy sighting was Sighting #21, a flashy-looking early 20s mommy in the company of two middle-aged women that looked like older relatives of some sort while standing behind the grandstand. All three were smoking.
Sighting #22 would come only a few moments later at the edge of the midway. A hot 18-19ish light brunette cutie with a spectacular body draped in a tanktop and form-fitting striped shorts was standing behind a vendor booth with a guy about her age smoking. I'm thinking both were fair workers out on a smoke break rather than boyfriend and girlfriend. She was one of the more wholesome looking smokers I'd see during the day and as I walked away she was standing there engaged in what appeared to be a b###hing session about work, her sweet voice raising while talking to the guy and her cigarette fairly animated in her right hand while talking.
Next would come my would-be epic sighting of the day. I'm still beside myself with frustration that I couldn't have stumbled upon this only two minutes earlier than I did. I'm navigating through the crowds on the busy south side of the grounds and almost stumbled right into a knockout 21ish hottie (in the company of a boyfriend and another couple....none smoking) with a baseball cap, long light brown hair flowing down her back, and a pair of uber-sexy white shorts that were frayed on the ass. In her hand was a mostly smoked Black and Mild cigar. My breath was temporarily taken away. As I've said in the past, cigar sightings are the Holy Grail for me. I followed at a close distance, expecting one of my hottest cigar sightings ever. But only about 20 seconds later, I heard her whisper to the boyfriend asking if he'd put this out for her. He took the cigar, lifted his foot, and crushed out the cherry on the bottom of his boot before handing it back to her. She held onto it until they got to the next gas station and then tossed it. I was devastated. I didn't even get to see a single drag! I didn't get a single splash of smelly cigar smoke streaming from her lungs into my face. I wouldn't get the chance to rate this sighting as an epic.....or even a blockbuster. It just barely met the threshold of classifying it as Sighting #23. I nonetheless followed the group into the nearby building they walked into to get another look at both her white short-draped ass and that beautiful face. She was indeed a knockout...and it would have been such a treat to see just one puff off that cigar of hers. But it wasn't meant to be. I'd see her and her cluster twice more on the grounds that day....and neither she nor the other three in her company would be smoking.
Despite the disappointment, just the fact that I saw this cutie with a Black and Mild in her possession gave me a burst of energy. Sighting #26 was the next that caught my attention. A cute college-age ponytailed brunette sat on the rear of one of the buildings with a cigarette in hand. She was checking texts with her nonsmoking boyfriend looking over her shoulder. Few things more adorable than cute girls smoking in the presence of nonsmoking boyfriends.
Not long after that is when it happened. At three different stages earlier in the day, I had watched ominous storm clouds just to the west, but the reports I heard on the radio stations playing at various points in the grounds was that all these storm cells were avoiding the Des Moines area and heading northeast. My luck would run out at 3 p.m. however. A steady bout of rain began to fall and everybody was racing to get inside the already-crowded buildings. I was concerned my day was effectively over standing elbow to elbow in the entryway of a building, but in about 10 minutes the rain stopped. Not only did the rain stop, but the sun came out. Sure, it was suffocatingly hot and humid, but the rain crisis was over and I felt a metaphorical rebirth to the day that would be consistent with my sightings as I was poised to score amazing back-to-back blockbusters, two of my three best sightings of the day....
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