Posted by ...dog... on 4/14/2005, 7:44 pm Pause Thin flames of mist rise bloodless, stark between ...woof... JUDGE's COMMENT: Wonderfully written poem allows the reader a peephole into the den of "small beasts" where their winter life is revealed in intimate detail. Lovely word choice, particular and precise. Superb in so many ways: diction, economy of words, the alliteration in "As frost draws ragged razors...", and the pun/double-entendre of the one-word title. Bravo! Wonderful internal and external rhymes as well as near-rhymes make this a delight to read aloud as well as to read silently. Senusual and earthy, this is a stellar write
198.54.202.218
i won 70 USD for this piece (on a 'serious' site)
(they picked the subject - 'hibernation' and the iambic format...)
dark inert trees where silence silts in wells
and settles on the shadow-soaked terrain.
While torpor spreads, subverts the meagre soil,
small beasts curl under layers of decay;
immobile loops of claw and paw wound tight,
interred by change, chilled by an unseen sun.
As frost draws ragged razors through raw air,
so feral coils slip anchor, set to sail
the drowsy rhythmic tide of earth’s dull pulse.
Adrift, like breath exhaled, they float upon
a spectral sea of life deferred; beyond
grey sleep’s low headland, free, immersed in dreams
awash with sultry memories of spring.
...dog...
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