The superlatives have all been spoken; the songs have all been sung; and a fine summer sunset has bidden adieu to London 2012. Yup, after all those endless hours of watching it, talking about it and living it the 2012 Games are over. We can all get on with our lives once again. Trouble is we don’t want to…
And so, as I and some mates watched in the local Wetherspoons wondering if we could still be great pensioner or geriatric athletes the chat turned to which activity in we should consider partaking. Talk of five-a-side-this and five-a-side-that was kicked about; golf, tennis and cycling was considered and rejected. “Join a gym,” said Monty. We all looked aghast. “Join a gym – what? With these bodies?” queried Russ as he picked up a fresh Carling. “Well,” sighed Monty, “we could all do wi’ getting into better shape.”
Talk then moved from our rotund shapes to the shapes of the athletes we’d watched for two weeks. “The thing is,” mused Smudger (remember him? It’s not his name but I was protecting his vulnerable and useless identity), “their bodies are all completely hairless.” Russ sighed his Derbyshire sigh, “Oh right oh Smudge, so what you’re saying is; all we need to do to look better is go get waxed?” Monty tittered, “My missus said they do the blokes at Boldmere Beauty.”
At this point Smudge deemed it would be a good start on the road to our ‘Adonis-ment’. Yeah, right? I was not convinced. One that can’t stand pain,” goaded the Smudge. “I can stand more pain than you midland monkeys,” I retorted. And so by drunken default it was decided that we all to troop off to Boldmere Beauty, “one of these Saturdays” to be made un-hirsute and body beautified. As Russ rightly mused, “The Olympics have gone to Brazil; we might as well get Brazilianised!” When in Rome, eh folks?
Drunken talk, like a New Year resolution, is one thing but I’m now in constant dread of this challenge actually being taken up. And if I know the tenacity and resolve of these Derby lads it eventually will. Still, it’ll probably give me something to do now that the Olympic Games have gone.
Toodle pip, waiting to Join In and wax lyrical…before the meet Magic
Message Thread
« Back to index