Well I'm still here not on holiday but waiting for my other eye op. It has put a bit of a strain on the eyes and went to the opticians for new glasses and drove back without the glasses . Felt like the old CSM one eye Reynolds in the old days or driving back with one eye after a hard night on the booze. Think you have all done it.
Yes it has been a bit quiet do we still have many of us left or are they slowly departing for another life?
It could be that they have taken up Mall walking another pass time for our ageing oppos.
What the hell is that you might ask ?well just read on.
I HEARD a story a few days ago that both made me smile and demonstrated the dangers of the paranoia that seems to be gripping our society,so I thought I would go and take a look. A quick visit or might be longer with your GL ( good lady) to your shopping-mall and you will see how malls now affect our lives. Anyway, one item was on a strange behaviour in the mall.
It turned out to be, as I visited the shopping mall in Leicester of a strange behaviour in the mall. Apparently every day , an elderly Asian woman wearing a burqa visited a mall located in the centre of Leicester , We have two malls. At exactly 9am. I saw: “She entered the south door near M&S and walked past the thirty-eight shops to her right. Then, reaching the top at TK Max, she turned around and walked down the other side back to where she’d started.” She then repeated her circuit at a quicker pace; and then again. She performed this loop some eight times before finally leaving the mall without buying a single thing. She returned at 6pm and did exactly the same thing.
The woman has been there every day for a number of months. She never entered a shop and never bought a single item – not even water. Security staff became a little concerned. What was this woman up to? Was she ‘casing’ the place or carrying out some sort of surveillance? At the time there were police reports that gangsters and criminal families were wearing burqas as a form of disguise; and in some cases using them to stash their shoplifted plunder.
Obviously, the security people needed to handle this with great care. They didn’t want racist accusations levelled against them. Eventually, an Asian member of staff approached her. Can you guess what she was doing? Well, she was keeping fit. Yup, it was a form of keep-fit that the lady “had seen on the telly.” She told the staff, “They do it in America and its called ‘mall-walking’.” She no longer felt safe on the streets of her local community and had occasionally suffered taunts for the clothes she was wearing. So, she hopped in the car and drove the two miles to the mall to do her exercise. At some point she lifted her skirts to reveal her Nike air trainers!
Geriatrics gather now at shopping-malls to go ‘speed walking’. They form mall-walking societies and they are a complete menace and I think I may have spotted a few of our oppos in disguise so now you know where they are and doing.
So next time you’re in Liverpool, Leeds or Rome, in the mall and see a gaggle of geriatrics heading your way ‘mall-walking’ at speed - give ’em a wide berth it may be a few of us oppos heading for a meal after the meet.
Toodle pip Magic
Message Thread
« Back to index