Posted by Katie on 9/11/2005, 7:57 pm
152.163.100.139
I have not written in a while. My had seemed to be getting better until two weeks ago she started having terrible hallucinations and delusions. we thought it was the meds and so did her oncologist. we put her in the hospital. the third day she was there she had a grand mal seizure. it was so hard i thought i was loosing her right then and there. but she made it through and the few days after was so cheerful and full of life that the doctor was going to let her go home with hospice care. The day we got her home to the house she said one word. at 3 am she woke up making a sufficating noise we did not know what was happening we called hospice and they said my mom was dying. the whole family just stood their crying and hold ing her hand expressing all our love for her and after about 5 hours she gave us a smile of love and then a frawn. she did not wnat to go. over and over again in the hospital she kept saying im still going to beat this cancer. im so sad and i cant deal with this. Im 24 years old. im scared for the future. my mom was my best friend. anyone that met her felt her warmth and caring. she was a great artist and so talented. the whole time she was sick she would make blankets and pillows for children with cancer. until her arm got so swollen from the limphedema she couldno longer do want she loved. but she did keep everyone happy. she is angel and alwys will be but iw ant her back and i cant believe how fast everything happened. i miss her soooooo much and dont know how to deal. we have sucha close family and we just all are torn to pieces...
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