Posted by Ogtic on 7/29/2005, 10:30 pm
24.159.178.22
I have realized that my dad having lung cancer has been a huge test of my faith. Now i am being tested even more. The new chemo has been the worst one yet. He hasn't really been affected to much by the first five, but this new one brings him down within hours. I cannot continue to watch everything that is happening. And now, on top of that, my best friend in the entire world (since 4th grade and we are now 18 and about to go to college)may have a heart problem. He was the first person i told about my dad and he has been there through it all. Anytime i needed to talk or just get away, he has been there. Now he is going through all kinds of tests and last night he had a heart monitor on for tests, and i couldn't hold it together after i saw that. As soon as i was out of his sight the tears were flowing. I go home and watch my daddy in so much pain and then when i can get away from that and do something with my friends, he is there with his potentially serious heart problem. It is just scary not knowing and this is a time i would usually go to him for comfort and he would tell me everything is going to be ok, but now he has the problem and i fell like i can't talk to anyone about anything. I don't know. Sorry, I just had to spill that out somewhere. I have been holding things inside lately and i guess this was just the first place i came that i felt like i could just sit here and get things off my mind.
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