Posted by Michelle (post) on 1/8/2006, 10:47 am
207.47.140.251
My brother just phoned to tell me about my mom's checkup from yesterday. It's so hard trying to be strong and not breaking down. The doctor who my mom thought would help her cancer told my dad that he is giving her only one more checkup if the medicine he gives her this time doesn't work. She is on some sort of herbal treatment instead of the traditional method. The doctors at the hospital only gave her 6 months when she was diagnosed a year ago so she has surpassed that.
He told my dad to make sure he has some arrangements made for her. My poor dad I don't know how he is going to handle all this, he already isn't handling things at all. When his mom, my grandma passed away before Christmas I was the one who had to handle most of the arrangements. I'm only 25 years old and the only daughter that lives close to my parents. The other one is pregnant in a different province and due anyday now. My 2 brothers live here but they don't seem to know how to help, they mostly try to stay away unless they have to see her.
I know most of you out there know what I am going through which helps me tremendously. My boyrfriend says he knows because he went through it with his grandpa when he was young and I keep telling him its not the same thing, a grandpa is not a mom.
I just keep thinking she won't be here to watch me get married or start a family. She won't be here to give me advice on how to raise my kids. She won't help me go wedding dress shopping. This is suc a great way to start off a new year, but I guess her being diagnosed at the beginning of last year wasn't a great way to start off either.
I'm sorry this is long thanks for letting me cry and vent to you guys.
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