Posted by Ann on 7/9/2001, 12:39 pm But you're really my enemy and you only want to destory me -- physically and emotionally. If I let you, you'll eventually degrade the quality of my life or kill me outright. Not to mention give me lots of opportunity to feel bad about myself. All I might ever need (I can't tell you how much I appreciate all you've done over the last 30 years...). I've survived a lot of things in my life; years of hang-gliding, rock-clumbing and skydiving not to mention that devastating family tragedy. I know what fear and focus are all about. And I know what it means to accomplish something for which the battle was hard. The only reason you're still here is because I've fought for YOU instead of ME. And now, you're the only thing between me and the person I truly want to be. Yeah, we've squared off before. I know how deceptive and powerful you are. But every bit of power you have, I gave you. Not once has anyone ever tackled me, stuffed a cigarette in my mouth, put a gun to my head and screamed "INHALE!" No, I had to seek you out. I had to drive through rain and snow late at night, dig out money and ask for you. Every single time. I get it that YOU don't have anything to do with the ME I want to become. I also know you won't go without a fight. But I'm not alone this time. And I've brought my best weapon. I can choose. You can't. This time, it's personal. You're going down. Kathy found on QuitNet
So, here we are, you and me. And I'm REALLY getting it that you aren't my friend. We met when I was yound and naive and over the years you've convinced me that I need you to relax, celebrate or deal with stress. But no good thing has ever come from having you in my life. You aren't my reward or my pal. Like a frog that eventually dies when water is slowly heated to boiling because he doesn't notice the temperature gradualy rising and therefore, doesn't try to escape, you've wrapped your tentacles around my mind and body and whispered "...It won't be a problem..." or "...It's too hard to quit..." or "...you NEED me...".
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