Posted by nrm on 12/3/2006, 5:28 pm Rebecca was a slightly overweight girl I knew with blue eyes and a beautiful soul who lived in her own apartment complex on the shores of a muddy Michigan river. We had been fuk friends on and off for a while. She reminded me of a chubby version of Meg Ryan. She always welcomed me into her warm clean apartment with her fuzzy orange cat named Fred. Rebecca and me would sometimes have hot passionate sex, never finishing the movie we would rent. We would get about half way through a movie and after many drinks and bong tokes we would both start blabbering about our lives and how unfair the world was to us. We were both creative pessimists with a morbid sense of humor. Plus we were both horny freaks, that had already had sex, so I think we felt safe with each other, even if we had screwed other people since the last time we hung out. Rebecca liked to paint in water colors. She had a collection of paintings. All her paintings were of elephants. All sorts of different body shaped/ sized/ elephants, and different colored elephants. Some of the elephants took on human features in some of her paintings. Really odd twisted shit, some of it was. Elephants with baby heads engaged in sexual acts with older people. I never asked her about her elephant trip too much, cause she was really touchy about any questions regarding her paintings. I always use to tell her if I was a painter, which I wasn’t at the time, that I would paint a collection of different monkeys. Rebecca was almost done with her schooling to become a nurse. Soon, she always told me, she wouldn’t be poor anymore, that she would be making a high salary figure. I was still a pizza delivery driver who had majored in about 10 different subjects in junior college and still didn’t know what I was suppose to be. The thing I liked about Rebecca is she never judged me or made fun of me for being a full time slacker druggie. She just accepted me for who I was, and not what she wanted me to be, like most women tend to do after you start dating them. She was one of the only women I knew who didn’t give a shit about where I worked, or my lack of goals, or lack of financial future. She was constantly trying to diet and was always paranoid about her looks and weight, maybe that’s what I really dug about her. Cause I was always self conscious myself, about myself, and what I looked like and who I was suppose to be. I felt relaxed with her, like I didn’t have to put up a front, I could just be myself and my many faces could just come out, whatever substance or mood I was in. I would always tell her that her figure was just fine, and that she looked perfect. She would tell me I was full of shit. But I would tell her that I really meant it, and give her a warm smile, and gently caress her rosy white cheeks, wiping any tears away from her manic mind. Then we would usually #### for hours. (make love?) I don’t know why I didn’t fully commit myself to fall in love with Rebecca. I mean shit. I was dumb and young, thinking life would last forever, thinking tons more opportunities would arise for maybe different women to choose from. I was young and selfish, and scared to commit my love and soul to a woman who I knew would always be faithful and love me till the end of time. What can I say? I had been fuked over by another women, my first love, and I had serious trust issues… Now I’m in my 30’s, haven’t been laid in years, and don’t even know how to talk to women any more, let alone hang out with them or stick my weener in them. I guess you might be wondering what ever happened to Rebecca? When he first got out, I tried to stay away from him, but he tracked me down, and we eventually started hanging out again playing music, and dropping acid, and smoking weed, and drinking ourselves into insanity.
Message modified by board administrator 12/4/2006, 7:47 am
Saving the dead
Fred liked me. She found that strange. She use to tell me how Fred hated most men that would come into her dwelling. I would only show up or call her when I was all wasted, and out of any other options for a night of vagina diving.. I was a self absorbed asshole.
This always made her laugh, and she would ask me, why monkeys?
And I would say, why elephants?
I always wanted her to cum first, and she always wanted me to cum first. I guess thinking back about all this, maybe we really loved each other. I’m not sure. Every time she got to personal about me or my soul or why I didn’t want to commit to her, I would clam up, and just split, leaving her crying, naked on her bed, with Fred to lick her tears away.
Well. Guess I will finish this little story for all my invisible readers.
I use to have a friend named Bryan,. Who went a little crazy from taking one too many acid tabs back in the 90’s. He tried to strangle his girlfriend to death one night after making her dress up in a leather chicken suit in the middle of a Michigan snow storm in the back of his parents woods.
So the story goes. After his girlfriend finally dropped charges and got a restraining order against him. They let him out of the loony bin. I cant believe he didn’t get any jail time. But he must have tricked all the shrinks into thinking he was fine. Bryan was a psychopath, and I always knew it, he wasn’t my first psychopath friend.
I made the mistake one night of taking him over to Rebecca’s. And I noticed right away she seemed like she was into him. Maybe I should have warned her about his past. Maybe I should have put my foot down and stopped what I knew was going to happen. But I couldn’t. Me and Rebecca were not dating. We were just fuk friends?
When I saw them hitting it off, I just sort of freaked, and decided to split. Pushing Fred off my lap. I drove drunk all the way to Lansing to score heroin and crack. My only true loves.
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