Posted by nrm on 11/12/2006, 6:51 pm
Message modified by board administrator 11/12/2006, 6:57 pm
i miss the road. miss being a traveling man.
miss waking up in a new city and state everyday.
miss the stench of piss soaked into cement truck stops.
miss the late night diners with hamburger steaks & eggs.
miss white trash trailer chicks taking me home for a night
in some fuked up place like west Virginia
or dumbfuksville south florida small town
miss all the new accents & driving
as fast as one can through Iowa snow storms.
miss the panic attacks of bad directions in the dark.
even miss the sleepless nights of noisy engine turning
on & off all night long with my orange ear plugs.
miss listening to my Sirius radio all day long while
passing through 4 different states of scenery.
miss the weekly paychecks even if they weren’t very much.
miss the day being done with curtains closed & cheap truck stop DVD’s.
miss the secret booze & drug parties alone & crazed ( no drugs!)
by myself listening to white trash fights on CB.
miss the odd moments of staring at mile markers marked in 3’s.
miss the panic of realizing I can’t make a right turn
with out running up onto a curb almost plowing into
light poles, traffic signs, & people on tight street corners
of another rainy drugged out day in el paso city driving.
miss border patrol stops coming out of Laredo
asking me if im an american citizen & what I’m hauling
& if there is anybody else in the truck or trailer.
i miss the strip joints & crazy whores who took all my money
i miss the lot lizard sick biitch's pounding on my rig at 3 a.m.
i miss the occasional one night stands with Louisiana bar waitresses
i miss driving into los Angeles with the smog covered mountains
miss even the long bouts of loneliness
& crying fits of manic no meds left depression
i miss picking up complete insane hitchhikers
& asking them such weird questions…. un till
they are more scared of me than I am of them
i miss traveling around with wanted ex cons with meth habits
& ugly prison tattoos & crazed lock up stories
that had my seen it all mouth opened in a stunned question mark
i miss giving a bum a 10 dollar bill
after 50 other truckers walked by him
i miss new mexico sunsets parked alone
near no one but the voodoo Indian train gods
of mountains & history chiseled ghost warriors
dancing through my sleepy dream mind, lighting a cigarette & yelling
at the tops of my lungs in laughter
at some deserted rest area with no one but me & those ghosts.
i miss the exciting fact of waking up all giddy after heavy Seroquil sleep
never knowing where they would send me next.
i miss making my own hours. i miss rainy nights through the Carolina’s.
i miss being independent with no where to live but the road
& I miss the fact that I actually had
something going on in my life for once.
a productive part of a society I always hated.
i was a house on wheels with a manic energy
& bursting child like gaze everyday driving through
green forests of Pennsylvania back mountains. like an astronaut
traveling around through a different galaxy everyday.
i miss pulling over on desolate freeways with gigantic lakes
that say ‘no truck parking’ and skinny dipping in fresh water
with worried speed boats blasting by giving me weird looks
as I cleansed my unshowered body & quickly left down the unknown road.
my soul needs to keep wandering. i cant handle all this sitting around.
i want my job back. i want to kill the narc that ruined my life.
i want to blame myself but I cant. I was doing just fine.
i will be doing just fine again after all this court shit.
i have smelled the road & all it’s glory
i will carry on someday here or gone
like none of this ever happened.
i miss none of it and all of it.
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