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Posted by Deni I'm doing good today. It's been a crazy week though. I've been working for my stbx and it's been really hard. A friend of mine pretty much insisted that I quite because it was hurting me to do it. So I went into my stbx's office, sat down and told him. I also told him that sometimes I just really hate him. I told him that I thought I was safe marrying him, that it would be for forever and that I am very angry at him for taking that dream away from me. I cried..... a lot. It was hard to say goodbye.... again but it was, once again, cleansing. Sometimes... lots of times this whole situation sucks. When I remind myself that I am so very much happier I get out of my blues and I realize what I am sad about is the loss of a dream not the loss of him. The fears about being a single parent are sometimes frightening but then again, I actually have been a single parent for years. The only difference is that my stbx no longer actually lives under the same roof. My relationship with my girls hasn't changed at all. Luckily my oldest is a teenager so if I want to get out I can. It's not a problem. I'm so proud of you for preparing yourself to move on. It's not easy but once you start to acclimate it will be so much better for you. Your stbx doesn't deserve such a wonderful person!!!! He's a complete and total idiot!!!! Have you been to the new board yet? It's beautiful and actually really fun to loose... this from a computer illiterate. If you have any questions or concerns about it just ask. Old Guy is a master, I'm barely squeaking by but I'd be happy to share all my mistakes with you... plus what I've learned of course Keep writing AJ, this is a good place to be when you come to those lonely spots. Once again, you can always email me directly on the above connection. Take care... you're a great mom and person!!!
on 10/30/2004, 1:52 am, in reply to "A rollercoaster"
Oh, how I understand the "convenient" parent thing. My H takes the girls on Thursday's for a few hours. He's also supposed to see them on Sundays. So far he has been consistent on Thursdays... I don't know if that's because I call him every Thursday and remind him or if he is actually thinking about it himself. Regardless the girls are getting some one on one with their daddy and he is actually paying attention to them.... well.... he picks them up, takes them to his place, puts a movie in for them, had dinner with them, and actually plays some games with them. For that I am grateful... the girls say they have a good time. 
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Deni
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