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Posted by dano Sorry this is still rough for you. Sounds like you are in a situation where you could really get some value from this site. I hope your husband reads here, too. Do you guys have any kids? Your husband is prolonging the process, rather than shortening it, by saying,"you should be over this by now". That is probably the worst possible approach he could take. (Oh yeah, I was a WS, 3.5 years past dday, now, and we're doing really well... 3 kids too). How wide-spread was the knowledge of your husband's affair... in your family, friends, etc? My self-delusion that what I was doing "wasn't all THAT bad", came to an abrupt end, when EVERYONE knew what I had done, and with my wife's initial reaction of.. "we won't make it through this, this is TOO much". I eventually realized how BLESSED I had been with my wife and family, how stupid I had been to risk losing those relationships, and with that out of the way... threw myself at my wife's mercy with NO expectations of a "quick" recovery. It was still a long and frustrating process for me, but if your husband girds himself with GRATITUDE for the mercy you have shown him so far, he can help you through this. He gave you reason to doubt EVERYTHING about your relationship with his selfish actions. He has to give up all his expectations, now. God bless, dano
on 10/28/2004, 11:33 pm, in reply to "Need some advice/help!!"
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