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Posted by still struggling
on 10/28/2004, 2:40 pm
We are 2 yrs past D-day, H had 2 brief affairs. 1st one was basically 2 quickies/ONS & they chatted a few times on the phone. H stopped taking calls & ended it. 2nd (happened 1 yr after the 1st A) one was a ONS w/ no other contact except he apologized to her the next day. I found out through a friend because the OW in the 2nd ONS was bragging about it. Once I found out about that one, he told me about the other.We have been trying to recover for 2 yrs & haven't been real successful. Things have gotten rough now. H thinks I should be over this more by now. Both of the OW were friends of mine & we all live in the same small town. So, I run into both of them often. This makes it a more difficult. I have tried to explain to him that this does take time but I also know that I have not done my best to get over it either. I became obsessed w/ knowing what they are doing or how they look or any info I can get on them. I wanted them to be miserable & I had to figure out what he saw with them that he did not have at home? Now we are at a breaking point, either we will make it or we will split. Now he believes I will never be over it. I have tried to explain how hard this process is and how I have felt but I have not been able to express it very well. I would like to get some responses to show him how betrayed spouses feel after D-day, I would like to hear both a male and female point of view? I guess I am curious to know if men feel differently when handling this?. I would also like to know how far out of D-day you are and how you feel now or thoughts that have gone through your mind lately? And what are some steps that you would suggest to help with recovery? I would like to also hear from a few that have also been the WS and how they have felt after D-day? Maybe this will help me better understand how he feels. Any responses will be greatly appreciated! Thanks!
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