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Posted by Joy on 10/27/2004, 10:08 am You faced an emotional crisis. Lord knows you have been through so much. Please, seek individual and couples counselling. This is not just about you. You will need your husband to "WORK" on repairing the damage, not just continuing the same without guidance. So far, he hasn't exactly shown the best decision making and coping skills now has he? What he is doing has not been enough, as he has racked havoc on many lives. Maybe this site can help you: http://www.suicide-helplines.org/index.html http://www.suicide-helplines.org/usa.htm This site has some things to remember: Suicide is often a permanent solution to a temporary problem. When we are depressed, we tend to see things through the very narrow perspective of the present moment. A week or a month later, things may look completely different. Most people who once thought about killing themselves are now glad to be alive. They say they didnt want to end their lives they just wanted to stop the pain. WG, the pain will lessen, things will get better in time. Whether or not your marriage survives in the long run, you will be just fine! You son needs you and would suffer at your loss. You are a valuable person to many in your life, don't let your husband's mistakes distroy your sense of worth in this world. He picked you to be his wife and has a child with you. Seems like he still wants you now. So, pick up your head and hold it high! You have the honored place in his heart, even though he screwed up royally. You did nothing to be ashamed of. Go to this site. Get a local phone number so you have someone to call if you ever find yourself that low again. Another phone number for you to keep until you are stronger: You said you have no one to talk to about those terrible thoughts. Please, reach out for help,,please pick up a phone! This is nothing to ignor or hope that it just goes away. Ask your husband to hold your hand and pray out loud together. Pray for strength to heal and make the right choices. It can be very healing for the damaged heart. In the early days, I had to ask my Husband to pray with me as I would get so emotional and just cry. That also passed. Many, including myself have dealt with depression issues after all this emotional trauma. Don't be ashamed to seek help. It's kind of like all the crap just messes up the brain chemistry! Take care, Joy
WG, I was worried about you and didn't want this to get lost down below:
If you ever need help dealing with self-distructive thoughts, PLEASE get help right away. Talk to someone, even if it is a counselor on the phone or internet. Your child needs you now more than ever.
National Hopeline Network
Tel: 1-800-SUICIDE
1-800-784-2433
You are working on forgiveness for your husband. Now, he can forgive you for things you did at a terrible moment of emotional crisis. You need to forgive yourself also and be thankful that you didn't really hurt yourself. You will look back and concider it a dark place in your life and learn from it. You will watch your son grow and rejoice that you are there with him!
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