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Posted by J on 10/26/2004, 6:32 pm Anyway...Here it is: THINKING ABOUT COMMITTING ADULTERY? Adultery happens when one person in a romantic relationship is married. Both people do not have to be married, but both people inolved in the relationship are adulterers. 1. HE WON'T COMMIT TO A FUTURE WITH YOU. A man who is in a very unhappy or unsatisfying marriage can feel swept away by how wonderful you omake him feel. He may even blurt out, "I've never felt like this before and I can see myself spending the rest of my life with you." This may sound like a commitment to a future to you. It's not. Don't confuse his loving the way you make him feel with his loving you and making a commitment to you. 2. CHEATING ON HIS WIFE TELLS YOU HOW HE You are evidence of his avoiding dealing with unpleasant situations head on. This means that he's likely to resort to some devious behavior with you if the two of you encounter relationship problems. 3. HIDING IS EXHAUSTING. Having to keep your relationshp a secret can attack your self-esteem and cause you to miss out on one of the wonderful aspects of a relationship. Walking together freely and radiantly through the world can fill you with the glow of being with someone who is proud to be with you. 4. HE'S GOT HIS CAKE AND IS EATING IT TOO. He has a legitimate married relationship that helps his public persona and he has an illigitimate one with you to make up for what he's missing in his marriage. As appreciative as he sounds, many women who are involved with married men come to resent his having the best of both worlds, when she has the least. 5. CAN YOU LOVE SOMEONE WHO IS SO DISRESPECTFUL OF HIS WIFE? The existance of your relationship with a married man tells you how little he respects his wife by lying to her instead of being a man and telling her he wants out. 6. LOSE HIS RESPECT AND IT'S OVER. Even though he's the one who pursued you. Even though he's the one that made it difficult to say "No." And even though he tells you how wonderful you are. At some level, he's going to have trouble respecting you for settling for such a flawed relationship. Like the Groucho Marx joke, "He may not want to be a part of a relationship that would have him as a partner." 7. YOU'RE NOT A HOME WRECKER; YOU ARE AN ACCOMPLICE. Like it or not, you are a willing participant in a man violating his vows and betraying the trust of his wife--not to mention grossly disappointing his children and making it difficult for them to see him as a role model. 8. YOU'RE KIDDING YOURSELF. Despite his reassuring you how much you mean to him, his not ending his relatinship with his wife in an above-board and respectful way--and not beginning a legitimate relationship with you--are actions that speak louder than words. 9. BEWARE THE GUILT BOOMERANG. Many men (and women) have difficulty in full responsibility for their deceitful actions. Human nature finds it easier to blame than to accept shame. If he is caught by his wife or conscience, don't be surprised if he tries to blame you and get you to take the fall. 10. TIME IS TOO PRECIOUS TO WASTE. Ever notice how quickly the years go as you get older? Because it's convenient and comfortable, a relationship with a married man can go on for a long time--and before you know it, eat up precious time you might have had in a healthy relationship with a chance of flourishing. When people who have been involved with married men finally move on, they often regret having wasted the time in a dead-end affair.
This is something old that I found while doing my research. My God, I didn't realize I had this much stuff until I started pulling it all out. The paper is now up to 13 pages and I'm not anywhere near done. This may end up being a friggin' book before I'm finished.
Here are 10 reasons Not to
DEALS WITH ANY SITUATION HE DOENS'T LIKE.
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