Surviving Infidelity: Mr Aussie returns from house sitting

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Mr Aussie returns from house sitting

Posted by Aussie on 10/25/2004, 10:22 pm

Im kind of better and still kind of confused and my head still feels kinda messed with
If you havent read previous thread. H left for two weeks to house sit in a house round the corner. H said prior to house sit that he needed space, he wasnt sure if we were compatible. This is clearly blokespeak for trial separation and I treated it as such, especially when I let him know I had contacted a legal firm in case of the worst case scenario and he said hey, thats great!
He came home on Wednesdays and weekends, except for one Saturday where he organised a babysitter and had me over for a night of spoiling. As I said, this messed with my head somewhat.
We had our counselling session the following Wednesday where I poured out my doubts and attempts at preparing for the bureaucratic / legal stuff in case the worst happened and my feelings that the worst WAS about to happen, given his statements above. I gave him full credit for the romantic Saturday evening
Counsellor was quite angry with me and said I was being manipulative and sabotaging our recovery.
Another WTF???!!!??? Moment. Im sabotaging the rebuilding? Ive been trying harder than he has up to now and HE was the one who had removed himself to another house for two weeks! Now Im annoyed with the counselor. I also had an OW issue that I brought up and she said Are you STILL thinking about that. Now for a MC who by her own account has been on both sides of the BS/WS fence I think that is an extraordinary thing to say.
I have been left stewing at home imagining the worst and have not been in a position to manipulate anyone. I have not, for instance, been ringing or messaging him late at night to see what he was up to. I have told him that if its his decision to leave then I will not try and prevent it. If thats a little wake up call, its also no more than the truthnot manipulation.
Or am I wrong? Cmon, be honest, I can take it.
Oh, and Now hes home and he said I told K. Id decided I was madly in love with you and committed to working on this marriage. OK thats GREAT and I fully appreciate it but how does he and the counsellor pretend he was not going away to rethink his position or his commitment, given that statement? In other words it WAS a trial separation and Im criticised for calling a spade a spade?
(Note: Im not being ungracious towards him or anything. This is my private vent to you guys. Theres another issue Id like to raise but, one at a time eh? ;-) )