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Posted by Joy My hair was shoulder length at dday. Well by 5 months it was falling out in large amounts. So, I grew it out over the next 18 months. It took that long for a the short regrowth to be manageable. Around six months ago, I called it quits to the longer hair again. I wasn't going to worry about that aspect anymore. (I had long when we married long ago and the OW did also) Cut it all back to the shoulders again, left it straight and got some highlights. Screw what the OW had! If my husband is that shallow, then he can just leave! Im not a homebody. I work full time. My boys are older. In the past, I would be on-call sometimes and have to go out in the evening once in awhile. If my H got home and I wasn't there, he never worried, just went to bed. Never called or anything. It would tick me off that he showed NO concern! Guess he was just that secure with me. He was the one who usually wasn't home, and for several years was lying about his whereabouts. If he is not home, I go about doing what I need to do. So, he may call and I'm not home. I do make it a priority to be home if he will be, especially now. We owe each other that. So, he DOESN'T wonder and he DOESN'T guess. The things I was telling of in the above post were now over 3 years ago. But, the concept remains. But, I do realize that part of the intensity and extra effot came from the fantasy and newness of the affair. I can't be someone new and different. He acted like a school boy with a crush. But, he also had no real commitment to this OW, the part that he really liked. He could play the game and walk away, without any real concern or having to fix any of her problems. I'm in his REAL life. I just understand the horrible feelings of wishing for that effort from my spouse. Even if it wasn't based on reality. It hurt to see his efforts when he would not for me. Life moves on, just have to deal with it. Joy
on 10/24/2004, 5:52 pm, in reply to "Re: Don't we all want to feel loved and desired?"
If it was only so simple!
So, is going bald a radical enough change? 
Well, it wasn't that bad, but at the time, it was clogging up the drains and brushs! Fortunately, it ended before it was more obvious. I lost 30+ pounds in that time frame also. A terrible stress reaction.
I've never done anything distructive, even in the worst of times. Guess he knows me well enough to know that I won't start now. Well, he is luck then to feel so secure and trust me so much.
I wish I had the same feelings. 
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