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Posted by caroline I think I do understand, although we can never be sure until we really walk in another person's shoes (one of the things I learned through this experience). I do believe that I would feel insulted and undesirable if my partner had to be intoxicated to want me enough to forget about the dumb stuff. Especially if they had been that way with the OP. I admit I do not know what its like to be raped, but I attended a support group for rape victims and it worked fine because we had so many of the same issues. That is what convinced me that infidelity is sexual abuse and BS's are survivors. And I would not be able to accept that my partner wasn't able to pleasure me the way I did him because of his inability to relax without chemicals. I would feel like, "Buddy, if you have to get drunk to do me I'll pass!" And I would *not* do him either! I mean, come ON. If she can drop her inhibitions the way women have to do to receive the things you say you're giving and yet can't forget herself long enough to reciprocate. Hmmm... I better just leave it there. I will say that, although I don't know you, it sounds like maybe it's time for you to care as much about yourself as you do her. Maybe you just need to say, "Alright Baby, if I ain't what you need to get your freak on, then leave me alone because I deserve the kind of love I give." Stop chasing. Nobody should have to live like that. Be good to yourself, I say. Because at the end of the day, ain't nobody but you gonna have to sleep in the bed ya make. So you better make it comfy. Life's to precious to spend it getting short sheeted. Take care, Caroline PS: if anyone should decide to email me they should put their nick and "from SI" in the title line so I know its not junk.
on 10/23/2004, 9:55 pm, in reply to "Re: I don't get it..."
Sorry I missed your reply.
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