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Posted by J I wrote this two years ago, a few months after I had found out about the 1st affair. It made me smile, maybe it'll help someone else: What I have Learned.... 1. I have learned that I can't define myself by the actions of another. When they screw up, it wasn't my fault, it was because they made bad decisions. 2. I have learned a whole new language, most of it comes off the bathroom walls in gas stations. But, its another language just the same. 3. When you say "I quit!" Its not because you're quitting on the marriage, sometimes, you're just quitting on the moment. But, then again, when I think about it. Sometimes I'm quitting on the marriage. 4. Its OK for me to cry my heart out. (tip: buy water-proof mascara) 5. Its OK for me to get mad enough to kill. Its OK for me to envision doing that, as long as I don't act on those feelings. 6. What you believe you have and what you actually have are two different things. Take off the rose colored glasses. 7. I have given birth to five children, and at 41 yrs old "I still got it!" 8. My children make me crazy, especially the older ones, but when everything comes apart. We're solid, nobody can break the bond between us. Its all for one and one for all. 9. A house is just a building, its the feeling of those in the house that make it a home. 10. No matter what someone close does to me, I'm still a good person, with morals and decency. 11. Sometimes people give you really crappy help and advice. Its OK to listen, but if it doesn't work for you chuck it. 12. I can withstand the hurricane, and I don't have to bend to its will. 13. When I put on my make-up, fix my hair and smile every day. I feel a lot better. 14. One person cannot hold a marriage together. It takes two people giving 100%, 100% of the time. 15. Its OK to say f-you and the horse you rode in on! 16. Who my real friends are. 17. Its OK to say I'm to weak to stand, or I can't do something when I really can't. 18. Its OK to say NO! and mean it. 19. I don't have to put up with anything I don't want to put up with. 20. Some shrinks are real idiots and need a shrink more than I do. 21. Goes doesn't get mad when you call him a "bastard". But, husbands do. So in the end, who can you really depend on? 22. Some people no matter how hard you try, no matter how hard they think they're trying, they still don't "get it". 23. I can do anything I set my mind to. 24. I have to make things OK for me and my kids. I don't have to make things OK for other people. 25. I have the right to ask qkuestions, any questions I choose. But, the other person also has the right to not answer those questions. 26. I don't have to give blind trust to anyone. 27. I am OK, I was OK 6 months ago, I will be OK today, I will be OK tomorrow, a week from now, a year from now and when I draw my last breath. 28. I am responsible for my own actions. 29. Hearts break but they also mend. Maybe, they have to mend alone, maybe they have to mend with someone else. Maybe they mend immediately, maybe they mend over time. But, what they don't do is mend on someone else's time table, they mend on their own. 30. Its OK for me to say, if I don't like the way this is going, I reserve the right to walk out. 31. I am not defined by a marriage, a man, my children, my job, how clean my house is or isn't. What car I drive, how much money is in my checkbook. Sometimes, I'm not defined by my actions. But, what I am defined by is what's in my heart.
on 10/21/2004, 10:51 am
I didn't realize I had saved this, but while pulling out all the research that I had done on infidelity, I found it.
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