I used to have a dear family friend for over 40 years who in fact acted as caregiver and fiduciary to a developmentally disabled son of a friend of his who passed away. I watched him do an exemplary job for the last 30 years. But he lives 60 miles away, no longer drives long distances, and has become less close with age and adversity. I couldn't put that on him now. My niece's son, my great nephew, is a financial wizard working as an actuary for a large firm. My sister has suggested I think about talking to him, but close as I am to his mother, I've only met him (as an adult) twice! He is married to a gal I never met at all. It would be like a pig in a poke. I wish that were different, but we live 125 miles apart, and he left home early, so I hardly know him.
I guess I've got to get busy and do something, even if it's wrong. It can be amended again, as I'm doing right now.
I think you're right, Elle, a family member however less than perfect, is usually better than a stranger. And that's what the pros are telling me, too.