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So sorry to hear this Wendie. I am in the middle of chemo right now and I can say that while I am not as sexually motivated as I use to be I am not having problems once we do get going!
Of course, I am an old lady of 61. I had a hysterectomy 12 years ago (they left the ovaries)so I didn't really start menopause until a few years later. When I did go through menopause I had hot flashes REALLY bad but no vaginal dryness AT ALL. Everyone is so different though. Have you discussed this with your OB-Gyne and Onc? Don't really understand why it's painful.
I do hope you can get some answers on this. Intimacy is not everything in a relationship but it sure is nice.
Please ask your docs...