Posted by Jeanne on 10/18/2009, 3:39 pm, in reply to "starting to get panicky"
68.10.95.83
Hey Robyn,
It's normal to feel nervous when it's the first time doing something new - especially when it's something that we DON'T REALLY WANT to do and it's NOT FOR FUN!
I remember how scared I was before my 1st chemo and the sense of dread I felt.
I asked the gals here for help & support, and they came through!! I didn't get a port, so unfortuntaely, I can't really speak to the issues you're having with it. I do recall though, that the gals who got one said that it made getting the chemo much easier.
Please know that you are not being a baby! And Sweetie, we're not always strong - we all have our down days, times of sadness, fear, worry, panick, grief... But we are here for each other, just like you are here - encouraging each of us!!
You should feel fine the day of chemo. It's the following days that you may not feel so good. May I offer you a suggestion? Start telling yourself today, Out Loud, over and over, "It's going to be OK.... I'm going to be OK.... I can do this." Like some other gals here, I pray and recite Bible verses for peace & strength. Some folks may recite the Serenity Prayer or say other phrases that help them focus on peace, wellness, and hope.... Whatever positive words/phrases that bring you assurance, calmness, and strength - say them Often and Aloud so you can hear them and start to believe them.
Since you're not resting well, give your doctor a call and ask if you can take your restoril now. If your body and mind are well-rested, you'll feel better & stronger.
I'm glad that your sense of humor is starting to come back! I've found mine has served me well. On that note, please know that I just gave you a cyber wedgie! 
hehe Hope it made you smile!!
I'll be keeping you in my thoughts & prayers, Girlfriend!
Hugs & silly smiles from VA,
Jeanne
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